


Stay

by Kiryhara



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19798672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiryhara/pseuds/Kiryhara
Summary: Yes, it's okay, he admitted it; she was crazy and a little broken, and he was ridiculously in love with her. But it did not matter if he admitted it to himself or to anyone else. Anyway, it was already late.





	1. First part

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it's amazing how I'm starting new fics when I have not finished the others, but what's more, that's the way I am and that's how I love.   
> Anyway, this is already coolly calculated and structured so it should not take me more than a week to finish it. It's not going to be very long, I think it will not even go beyond the 5 chapters. I could even have uploaded it in one go, but I feel like that would take essence away from the fic and it would not be enjoyed as it should be.  
> Well, this is located before the events of the second Gintama movie, but considering what happened with the Shogun (try not to cry). So Gin is not there, The Yorozuya is broken and the Shinsengumi escapes for his life (?) XD can be taken as a semi-Au, if they want it: D
> 
> Warning: some sexual innuendos. Nothing explicit and really nothing will be mentioned so it is not worth reading.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing, nadita, nothing is mine. Only this story.

He opened his eyes before the harsh light of the sun that filtered through the window of what, for now, he called a room. It's not like I had many options to stay after all.

How fast had it dawned?

He thought he had seen the last of the sun when he closed his eyes and put on his mask just a few hours before, 4 hours, to be exact. He crawled into the sheets and pulled his head away in an attempt to fall asleep again, but the damn rays were falling on him even through the sheets, almost as if someone had open the window without asking him. He passed an arm across his face in his last effort to block out any trace of light, even wearing the mask, but he did not succeed. However, before actually verifying if the fucking window was open, someone pushed him by the side and shook his arm out of his face. He took off the mask, reluctantly, and raised his head to discover that, in addition to the annoying sunlight-and indeed, the window was open-his dream world had been interfered with by an inconsiderate and rude Kondo.

He had not slept enough.

"Kondo-san, you should not show yourself in the sunlight, just like that". It was supposed to be hiding to avoid being taken to execution, and although there really was not any danger, Sougo could not think of anything else for say.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, Sougo, you can not pretend to sleep all day". He spoke in an incredibly cheerful voice, despite all the ugliness they had to live. With the fact that Edo was practically desolate, it seemed strange to him these days that somebody even had a bit of happiness.

However, the fact that the man whom the chestnut still considered his Commander, despite the fact that the Shinsengumi no longer officially existed, had gone in his search exclusively to wake him up...that could not bode well.

"Who said he wanted to sleep all day?" His voice still sounded sleepy, which completely contradicted his argument.

Kondo stood in front of him, crossing his arms later in the chest, studying him with his eyes, giving him that mysterious touch of a father who knows everything, which was totally strange to see. Somehow, Okita did not like where things were going. Simply the fact that he did acts he did not normally do was enough alarm.

"I know what day it is today, Sougo" He announced solemnly.

His head touched the pillow again, trying not to give much interest to what he already knew, the older man would say. He knew what day it was, he did not need anyone to remind him of it. His eyes narrowed at the light that filtered through the window. He had thought of many answers for what Kondo had said, but he simply did not feel ready to express anything at that moment. All he wanted was to sleep.

"You know what day it is today, right, Sougo?" If Kondo himself knew it, how confused he was, how could he not know?

Of course he knew. I just did not feel like it mattered at all.

"And what does it matter?" He said, unconcerned, he did not find any sense in having that kind of conversation so early in the morning, it was too early for things to be meaningless, ten o'clock, in the world of Okita Sougo, was classified as the first hour of the morning, it had never been an early morning guy anyway.

"I do not know" his superior replied. "What you are going to do, is the important thing"

He surrendered to his goal of trying to hide under the sheets and finally got up from the bed. It would not do any good to try not to pay attention to what Kondo was saying. When he put himself in "listen to what I tell you because it is something serious" mode, it was especially difficult to get rid of him. Okita then extended her hand and took a hair tie and, under the watchful eye of the other man, made an improvised hairstyle and then tied it in her customary ponytail.

"Kondo-san, I really do not care" He said, while looking for a bit of his clothes to dress properly, not that he could afford a bath for the moment, anyway, in those times, the only thing that really import was survive.

It was not like Kondo believed him at his statement either, because he kept looking at him that way that he did not like. "Well, for some reason I felt I should come because you might need someone to talk to."

"I talk to all of you all the time" He said, shrugging.

"You know what I mean" He knew, but he did not want to make the people around him feel compassionate. How pathetic could that be? "Sougo ..."

He could not resolve this without giving a strong statement and terminate the issue, obviously. Kondo was being insistent, and Okita was already fed up with that game. He began to wander around the room looking for his shoes.

"It's just not what you think, Kondo-san. She and I were never serious. We were just ... " He had the sudden need to stop at this point, since he did not know what to really say. What the hell were they doing in the first place?

Kondo waited for the completion of the prayer, but when it did not come, he decided not to press anymore. "Sougo, you know you're a good liar, but even now, you're doing it terribly."

He never thought that he would be praised for lying well, much less his superior. "I'm not lying," he snapped, grateful that his voice still rang with total indifference. "She and I were just hanging out in this world full of crap, we've always been rivals and that never changed." rivals who had had sex a couple of times, of course, but that hardly counted and he would not let Kondo know either.

Maybe Kondo had expected the boy to break; Anger, bitterness, crying ... everything but that indifference with which he tried to handle everything that hurt him. Because he knew it. He knew him better than anyone, and he understood that, behind his stoic face, he was full of worry and sadness. However, the wall that had been erected to protect it from any damage this time had been quite solid.

He decided that he would leave him alone for the time being. "Well, we'll meet in a moment to define where we're going now, I'm afraid we've already been located." Walking to the door, he put his hand on his man and squeezed a little, then went on his way and left the place.

Well, Sougo would have had to get up eventually anyway, so he was grateful at the end for the interruption of his dream. He had to go take a look at the area and make sure they were not really on their heels to capture Kondo. In addition, they had to meet with the princess, exprincesa, really, to then go with the Joui rebels and keep planning The strategy to overthrow the government.

If he could do everything quickly, he could make himself a little time, and spend it sleeping and not have to think about anything. Thinking now was like his worst enemy.

And it's not that I worry or something like that because I have the need to avoid thinking. Why should it be? It was the life of China. She decided what the hell was going on and he did not have to get involved in that. If she had suddenly decided it was better for her to leave Earth, it was her problem.

What did that have to do with him anyway? Why did Kondo make such a fuss about something so stupid?

As far as he was concerned, China was not worth it.


	2. second part

He spent about five minutes sitting on the grass under the shade of a tree, with his straw hat perfectly placed to cover half of his face and thus avoid annoying people who recognized him and eventually an equally annoying confrontation arose. Waiting for Edo's ex-prince was not one of his favorite activities and he got bored quickly, but he had nothing better to focus on at the moment, rather than waiting for the arrival of who he considered, she was the only person in the royalty, alive, to which he could pay sincere respect.

When he finally felt the presence of this girl approaching him, he stopped tearing the grass around him, then made the gesture to stand up. However, Soyo was faster and sat right next to him, sighing later. Sougo then forgot to stand up, and rearranged himself back in his place, beginning to mow the lawn again. The silence that was generated wasn't at all uncomfortable. On the contrary, Okita sincerely enjoyed how quiet the princess could become. They simply stayed there, enjoying the comfort and sound of their surroundings.

The silence was broken by her after several minutes. "It's a beautiful day today."

There was no reason to answer him verbally, but he felt the urgent and absurd need to start a conversation that would keep him out of his head for a long time and, at that moment, the princess was his best option. "Well, for a post-apocalyptic world, I have to admit that it's not bad at all."

A small smile dragged down her lips. "That humor is very black."

He just laughed at misfortune. He preferred that to having to lament without meaning.

They remained another moment in silence, with only the sound of Sougo's hands weeding the earth, until Soyo decided to stop from his place. The brunette thought that they would finally mobilize where they had to go, as he supposed, they were waiting for them. However, the princess sat on the bench, right in front of him. Then, she stared at him, as if she was trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. He began to have the same bad feeling he had in the morning with Kondo. For some reason, his brain was pushing the idea that she wanted to talk about something that probably didn't concern her and what he really didn't feel like talking about.

He rethought the thought of wanting to talk to her to stay away from his mind. The only thing he was sure of was the same tirade his Commander gave him a few hours ago, although with her, it could be a little worse. Sometimes Soyo didn't even need to get a single word to know what things crossed his mind. The girl was quite perceptive. Proof of this was when, a few months ago, she declared that she knew that Kagura and he would eventually initiate a kind of...well, she used the word "relationship", but that was not true. Okita wouldn't categorize it as that. Of course, he flatly denied that statement, because it wasn't entirely true. There was half truth.

And, once he consulted China if she had started to open her mouth, she simply said that he had no need to go about spreading her private life.

It was really annoying that Soyo continued to scrutinize him that way, and he was tempted to tell her to stop, but she opened her mouth to say something.

"What are you doing here, Okita-san?"

The question completely dislodged him. What kind of question was that? Actually, he preferred to play dumb and pretend he didn't understand the context of that questioning.

"I'm waiting for you to go and meet with-"

"I don't mean that." Of course, as a good liar she was, she could detect a bad lie a mile away. "You know what I mean and, honestly, I don't think that just today this is where you should be."

What did she expect he to do then?

He was tempting to take off his hat and let him be recognized for arrest. So, he would not have to endure such conversations that steal his energy little by little and want to do anything else. It was really annoying and tiring. He resigned himself to telling her the same thing he had said to Kondo, and the same thing he planned to tell any other person to ask him about the issue of China's departure from Earth.

"I don't care." he declared, taking care to have a little touch in his voice. After all, she remained a type of authority figure for him.

She openly looked at him with a frown. "That can't be really true."

"Well, it is." he didn't want to say more about the matter. Really, was this a type of conspiracy or what?

"And then you say that the cruel heartless is me."

"So, I'm heartless?" It was no surprise to hear that. He didn't think was a good person.

"Quite. You have no heart.” she admitted, which gave he a little grace, since she hadn't hesitated to say that. "You know, call me cheesy, but I thought you would be heartbroken. I was ready to lend you my shoulder in case you wanted to cry."

This time he let out a laugh. He could not with this. What exactly was going on? Did the princess want him to release some kind of emotion?

"You didn't expect me to do that really, did you?"

Soyo rolled his eyes. "No." she said immediately, then changed her expression to a resemblance to nostalgia. "Kagura-chan didn't either." she declared softly.

No one had mentioned she—at least not openly—during that day. And of course, Okita wasn't willing to hear what the vermilion-haired girl had done or not about it. However, he couldn't find his voice to tell Soyo—diplomatically, of course—to keep her mouth shut. That he didn't want to know anything about China.

"I asked her not to leave. We need her strength for the fight, but she simply insisted that it was something she had to do. She didn't even give me a valid reason. Kagura-chan is so stubborn."  
  
Of course, it could not be otherwise. China was an orangutan who didn't understand or listen to reasons.

The truth, he never thought that the day would come when he would find the princess's presence a bit annoying and irritating. Those brown eyes spoke for themselves. They practically demanded that he try to talk to her. Why did she mistakenly believe that if he did that, Kagura would then change her mind?

The princess decided to express what her eyes had been screaming at him. "If you talk to her-"

"It's unnecessary, and I am not interested, in the least, what that ape wants or not to do." he never thought of interrupting a speech given by the former, but he no longer wanted to talk about it.

The girl raised an eyebrow. "So you're fine with Kagura-chan leaving?"

He decided that he had had enough with that subject. He clicked his tongue, irritated. Was it the day to mess with Okita Sougo? "I'm fine with that. Why should I care anyway?"

He sounded annoying, and that caused some alarms in Soyo. Of course, it affected him more than he was willing to admit to the world. Why was everything so complicated with them both? Kagura had also told her that, if he didn't care, why should she care? They were too proud to realize how much they needed each other.

The way the girl looked at him told him directly that she knew that nothing he said was true. Sougo's eyebrows leaned down a little. He didn't understand Soyo's need to browse and be nosy, expecting great dramas where there were none.

Where the hell could a man have some peace of mind?

He heard her sigh, then watch her stand up. "Come on, Okita-san. I am sure they are waiting for us."

The man nodded and sat up, walking slowly ahead of her. They had finally finished the topic "China", but, inside his head, thinking about it again and again was the only thing he did.


	3. Third part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is really completely finished and published on FanFiction, but there it is in Spanish. For that reason, it takes me longer than planned to upload the chapters here, since I have to transfer them to English and, since I'm not very good in the language, it takes me longer than the established time, because I want the chapters to have few errors (or don't have). Therefore, it will take me a little longer to update the following parts, so I ask for patience.

With the early mobilization of the Shinsengumi to another place, Sougo didn't have much time to rest that morning. They had talked to Katsura and his entourage, Kondo had given his point of view, the princess had also spoken —approving or disapproving. She had become a good strategist over time—and he, despite wanting to pay attention to everything, didn't notice anything at all. It was as if he were there, and at the same time not. He knew that the meeting was over when Yamazaki told him that they would leave first to avoid suspicion.

Well, if they had come to the conclusion of generating an attack, he would then ask.

When they found a desiccant site —within all the ruins of Edo—, Sougo thought he could spend the rest of the day trained. And he would have done it; He was really planning to do it, but the weather was more than pleasant—not too hot, not too cold—and the option of not training and going to sleep was open to him. He had not slept at all last night and thought he deserved it. Without even thinking about it much, his feet went somewhere away from all the other members of the Shinsengumi. He found himself on the roof of the place where they would spend the night.

It was quiet. He would spend a lot of time doing nothing. That was all it took to make him happy.

Okita Sougo was a simple man. Or so he believed. Yes, he liked to be sadistic with people; He was a heartless bastard to whom his hands were not shaking to kill, but he really was nothing complicated to understand or satisfy. He needed very, very little to survive in life, and he liked it that way. He didn't want—he never wanted it, in fact—that his happiness depended on something that was hard to come by.

He didn't want anything to complicate his existence.

_"Sadistic…"_

Listening to that voice inside his head made him want to blow his mind.

He turned, being in a position that was much more comfortable to try to sleep. However, when he closed his eyes, a series of images—better categorized as memories—flooded his mind.

He remembered the image of China in the gloomy hallway of what had been the Yorozuya before. Curled up, with legs bent and head hidden between the knees. She was vulnerable, fragile, sad ... broken. He didn't really remember why he was there, but he did remember that she told him to leave and he didn't. What he did was approach and, with the clear idea that he was a sadist and didn't comfort anyone, he drew his sword and rushed to attack she. Of course, he knew that she had some reflexes to admire.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She shouted, and of course, as it could not have been otherwise, Kagura attacked him with his umbrella.

Although the room of the Yorozuya wasn't too big for a fight to take place there, they didn't care much. He dodged each attack, counterattacking when he saw the opportunity. When he had her cornered, he raised his sword to put the tip against her throat.

"I win, China." He spat without kindness, as he stared at her without expressing anything and she looked back at him, but expressed a lot.

The blue eyes, against all odds—and against Kagura's will, too—filled with tears, which began to fall along the cheeks of the Yato.

Almost immediately she raised her hands to clean her face. "This is too pathetic. Why do I have to do it right now? And in front of you, of all people. I'm not so weak to do this." She did slowly creep against the wall until she sat on the floor.

The sword was losing height, until it was finally removed. Sougo was not good with the words of comfort, nor did he believe that Kagura was waiting for any attempt—failed—to encourage her. However, when he saw her crying and wiping her tears uselessly, he had the need to tell her something, whatever.

She kept her head down, hiding her face in her hands. Okita squatted down, slowly raising his right hand and, not really knowing what the hell he was doing, ended up stroking her vermilion head, drawing her little by little until he had her glued to his chest. He was surprised that she didn't screech or try to push him away. That showed how crumbling she was.

"Sometimes people cry," he began to tell her, almost whispering, "but not because they are weak. They do it because they have been strong for too long. So that's fine, China. Just for this time, cry all you want."

And so she did. Oh, he spent hours on that floor in the cold of the night with the Yato curled up in his chest. He didn't even remember when he hugged her—most likely in search of warmth—or when she hugged him. What he remembered with luxury of detail and total clarity was that one thing led to another and there they were, a few inches from joining their lips and doing something that would probably cause both of them many headaches later.

And she knew that. China could be clueless, but she wasn't stupid. And, damn it, he didn't even try to get away when it was she who closed the gap that separated their mouths, and he didn't do anything when she pressed herself against the wall, dragging him with her, and didn't care about the fact that his hands began to move from her back to her hips and then to her legs, caressing the incredibly soft and warm skin, pulling her towards his groin. He was amazed at the fact that she was letting him do that.

The kiss broke and then the ruby and sapphire met; both cloudy with lust. Both wanted. They both got tangled up in that and of course, Okita knew, their actions would bring consequences later, and he thought he should have listened to the voice of the reason telling him to stop, but he didn't.

Lying on the roof, he went back to supine, shaking himself mentally and tried to pretend to himself that this series of images had not crossed his mind. It was not that he wanted to avoid thinking about China—he had realized that it had become, for him, something impossible—it was just that thoughts about her required more energy than he wanted to spend at that time. It had probably been a mistake to try to be alone and sleep for the rest of the day. He needed something to occupy his mind. Making heavy jokes on Yamazaki or trying to kill Hijikata, maybe. Or a long lunch with all the Shinsengumi, while they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. That was what he needed right now.

However, it was too late to stop the train of his thoughts, and his mind was trapped in the image of an agile body, strong and with vermilion hair. Perhaps if he reminded himself that China wasn't so good and that she really had more flaws than virtues, the interest in thinking about her would abandon him.

China was a gluttonous orangutan, she was rude, filthy, and unkind in general. Everyone could see that; Everyone always said it. It was common knowledge. Unless she didn't talk to acquaintances, she was more or less a total bitch—of course, with Sougo she didn't apply, since she was a total bitch with him despite knowing her a long time ago—. She was no better in any case. Kagura was brutal and totally nothing feminine.

_"You should be proud to be doing this and that with this beauty."_

She was always grotesque to say things, because she learned most of Gintoki. But she didn't lie when she cataloged herself a "beauty." Surely she had a beautiful body—perfect, Sougo would dare to say, if only for himself—and very beautiful eyes. The most beautiful he would have seen.

_"What are you looking at me? Stop looking at me, you bastard! Do I have something on my face?"_

No matter which way he looked, Kagura was like a pimple in the ass. In addition to "bastard" he didn't lower.

_"Say what you want from me, but I'm sure you would get bored with any other girl who couldn't split your ass in two, as I do."_

She was four years younger than him. There were girls his age—or even older—who could be much prettier than Kagura, but she was right; He liked to fight her because he knew that no matter what, he wouldn't hurt her and she wouldn't make great dramas for he doing so. But, uh, she wasn't even human. There could not be a point of comparison, could it?

_"Daddy once told me that sometimes love begins after going through the bed."_

Now that he was meditating, he didn't understand why the hell she told him that and then kissed him. China was weird, but she was a good kisser. She didn't like being dominated and that made everything more interesting.

Besides everything, the Yato had never seemed to have thought of him as anything more than a good time. It's not like she said exactly that in that way—and it's not like he did it either—but in all the time they had talked, fought, touched and kissed, she never told him she loved him or anything like that. Therefore, he concluded that the vermilion didn't feel that, which was fine, because he also didn't feel that way at all.

No illusions had been made with each other. Neither was the emotional type. They weren't going to get stupid, or dedicate words of affection, or hold hands while they walked down the street—and it's not like he could walk freely down the street, anyway—. They were just a human and an Amanto who had had sex a couple of times to get out of the way.

There was nothing romantic about that.

It wasn't as if she was dying anyway. He could still see her if she wanted to come back sometime, and if he was alive by then.

_"Sadist, I think there's nothing else that keeps me tied to Earth."_

More words he didn't want to remember and he pretended never to have heard, or at least pretended not to remember them to have heard.

He pretended that they didn't hurt in the least.

**Author's Note:**

> Random data: I was going to write this from Kagura's point of view (after I decided that this idea was going to be destined for this fandom), and when I had half a written page, I deleted it and changed everything because I did not feel Kagura no way. As I've said many times before, it's easier to personify Sougo's point of view than Kagura's, so most of the fic (if not all) will be from his point of view.  
> Another thing. It will not end in anything sad, I assure you, hahahaha. So read with confidence.  
> The chapters will vary in extent. Although I do not think any of them exceed the 2,500 words. It is unlikely.  
> Well, with this I leave you. I have stuck a horrible night and I am very sleepy.


End file.
